aka, The Tower of Babel.
Now at this point in time, everyone in the whole world spoke the same language - except of course teenagers, who continued to come up with ridiculously stupid ways to ruin that language with words like “tweet” and “sext.” Those damn kids!
As they headed east into the land of Shinar, the people said to each other, “Come, let us make bricks, and burn them thoroughly.”
Dude: “Hey Brick, yo’ mamma so dumb, she thinks the English Channel is the BBC!”
Other Dude: “BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURN!”
Dude: “BTW, when does Downton Abbey series three premiere?”
Other Dude: “Give or take 6000 years.”
Dude: “Aw MAN.”
And the people said, “Let’s build a rad city, with a huge-ass tower that goes as high as the heavens, then people will know we’re really cool, and not just a bunch of hicks in a desert.”
God saw what they were up to, and was NOT AMUSED.
God: “Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. Let’s create some dialects!”
The People: “WE BUILT THIS CITY! WE BUILT THIS CITY ON ROCK AAAAAAAND RO-“
God: “LOL NO.” *God Powers of Godliness*
Dude: “—OLL-RAY!”
Other Dude: “Excuse-moi?”
Dude: “IT-SHAY.”
Other Dude: “Merde.”
And the now linguistically-separated people hightailed it out of there, fleeing to all corners of the globe. And the place that remained was called Babel, because that’s where God confused all the languages. Get it? Babble? Oui? Si?
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